


I Have to Go

by omgdatphantho



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Cheating, M/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-08-30 19:34:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8546344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgdatphantho/pseuds/omgdatphantho
Summary: Dan gets drunk and cheats on Phil. Phil can’t take his behavior anymore.





	1. Chapter 1

The sun streamed through the cracks in the blinds. I squint my eyes against their glare. I close my eyes and flop back against the pillow. My head is pounding.

 

I throw my arm over my face and groan. I keep willing my body to move. How long I was laying there trying to move is anyones guess. It felt like an eternity. In reality, it was probably ten minutes.

 

I throw back the covers and roll out of bed. I see something new on my side table. It’s a note propped up against my lamp. I pick it up and read over it.

 

 _‘I had a lot of fun last night. Call me! -E’_ Then her phone number scrawled underneath.

 

Last nights events come flooding back to my already overworking brain. I remember going to the bar with Phil and meeting up with our friends. I remember drinking drink after drink. I remember dancing with someone. I remember a drunken cab ride. I kissing someone. Then I woke up.

 

I process my few memories as I stumble down to the bathroom. I dig through the cupboard looking for aspirin. I walk to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I swallow the pills and rest my head in my hands.

 

Clearly I took someone home last night. Someone who was clearly not Phil. My eyes shoot open. Phil! Where is Phil?

 

I wander out of the kitchen towards the lounge. I glance around. He’s not there. I hurry to his room. Not bothering to knock, I throw open his door.

 

Phil is walking around his room. His suitcase lays open on his bed. There are a few items in it already. I stand in the doorway, watching him. He stops packing and looks at me. Neither of us say anything.

 

 **“Phil. What are you doing?”** I ask, breaking the silence.

 ** _“I’m packing,”_ ** he answers matter of factly. He resumes packing.

**“Where are you going?”**

 

He hadn’t mentioned a trip lately. Had he? Honestly, we haven’t been communicating very well lately. Our relationship has been a bit rocky lately due to work and the stress we’ve both been under.

 

 ** _“Does it really matter Dan? Do you really care?”_** You could hear the hurt in his voice.

 **“Yes it does Phil. Yes I do. Please talk to me,”** I plead with him. I close the distance between us in just a few steps. I reach out to touch his arm, but he pulls away from me.

 ** _“Don’t touch me Dan!”_** He shouts. I’m taken aback. Phil isn’t really one to shout. I take a step back to give him a little space.

 **“Phil,”** I start, **please talk to me. I do care about you. You know I care.”** Phil turns to face me.

 **_“Do I Dan? You care about me so much that you ditched me at the bar. You care about me so much that you brought a girl home. You care about me so much that you let me listen while you guys had sex. Do I have that right Dan? That’s how you show me you care right?”_** He was basically screaming by the end.

 

Phil’s face read of anger, but it was his eyes that I couldn’t look away from. They read of a mix of hurt and defeat. It was a look that I tried so hard to make sure that he never made. I only wanted him to feel joy and happiness, but I had fucked up.

 

I had let work and stress get the best of me. I had let everything come between us. I had let myself get out of hand and cheat on the most amazing boyfriend that I could have ever asked for. Phil didn’t ask for this. He didn’t deserve to be betrayed.

 

I step back and drop my head. Phil stands there looking at me before sighing and walking away. I continue to stare at my feet while he finished packing.

 

 **“Please don’t go Phil,”** I mumble quietly. I lift my head to look at him. He’s standing in front of his dresser with his back towards me.

 ** _“What was that Dan?”_** He asks without turning around.

 **“Please don’t go Phil. Please,”** I plead.

 

Phil turns around and throws a few things in his suitcase. He doesn’t respond. He zips his case and lifts it off the bed. I watch him in silence. The silence between us is filled with tension.

 

He rolls his suitcase out of the room. I follow behind. I follow his down the stairs to the bathroom. I watch as he grabs his toiletries.I follow him all the way to the stairs leading to the front door. As I stand at the top of the stairs, I watch him open the front door.

 

Phil hesitates. He turns back and looks up at me. He’s hurt and trying not to cry. I want to say something, but my voice is blocked by the lump in my throat. Phil opens his mouth, then closes it again. I can tell that he’s debating on what to say.

 

 ** _“It’s too late Dan. I have to go.”_** With that, Phil walks out the door and my life for the foreseeable future. I slide down the wall and curl up in a ball. I lay there and cry. Phil is gone and it’s all my fault.


	2. Chapter 2

The wind is cold and harsh as it whips around me. I start wandering towards-. Actually, I have no where to go. I sigh and tilt my head back towards the sky. This morning the sun was shinning, but that didn’t last. The day has turned grey and cloudy. It is as though it is in tune with my emotions.

 

I pull out my phone. I have to get away. I can’t go back to the apartment. Not after I made that big show of leaving in front of Dan. _Dan!_ No, I can’t think of him now. Looking down at my phone, I debate who to call.

 

I could always call my parents. Not really an option though because while they mean well, they will just make me feel guilty for walking out. I scroll through my contacts until I find the name I want. I press call and wait for an answer on the other end.

 

 **“Phil! Hello dear!”** Louise’s voice sings out from phone. It is a stark contrast to how I feel at the moment. Her voice is full of happy and sunshine. I feel broken hearted and as though I’m caught in an endless downpour of sadness.

 _“Hi Louise. I need to ask you a favor,”_ I try to steady my voice. Tears prick my eyes.

 **“Anything sweetheart. Are you okay?”** Her voice turns serious and full of concern.

 _“Can I come stay with you? It’s a long story, but I just-,”_ The words catch in my throat as tears begin to spill over.

**“Of course Phil. When will you be here?”**

_“Not till later. I have to find a train. I’ll text you when I know more. I’m about to head to the station now.”_

**“Okay. Just let me know. Are you okay?”** I hear the worry in her voice.

 _“No. I’ll explain everything later.”_ We exchange a few more words, then I end the call. I hail a cab and head for the train station.

 

I hesitate slightly as I crawl into a train seat. I’m not sure that I should be interrupting Louise’s life; no matter how many times she’s reassured me that I’m no bother. I settle into the seat and curl up to the window. I stare out as the train pulls away; whisking me away from this nightmare situation and Dan.

 

 **“Phil!”** Louise yells as I step out of the train station. It’s still raining. The gloom outside matches the turmoil I feel in my heart. Louise rushes towards me and throws her arms around me. I lean into her and grip her tightly back.

 

She looks at me. I must be a sight. My hair is in disarray and it’s obvious I’ve been crying for hours. Louise pulls back and slips one arm around my back. I let her guide me to the car, not caring to think for myself. I don’t say anything the whole way back to her house. She doesn’t press the issue. Just allows me to sit in my silent misery.

 

When we get inside, she leads me to the couch. I flop against it, curling into myself. I hear her taking my bag to the spare room and talking to someone. I hear the door open and shut a bit later. I hadn’t even noticed if there were other people in the house. I must look shell shocked.

 

Louise comes into the lounge a bit later. She sits down at the other end of the couch. I don’t even look up to meet her gaze. I can see the gears working in her head out of the corner of my eye. After a few minutes of silence, she finally speaks.

 

 **“Alright Phil. Would you like to tell me what’s going on?”** She’s trying to be gentle, but I do owe her an explanation.

 _“Where’s Darcy? Who were you talking to?”_ I ask; trying to avoid her question.

 **“She’s in bed. Matt was nice enough to come watch her so I could go get you. Now stop stalling.”** She’s right. I’m stalling. I guess I’m hoping that if I don’t say the words out loud then this is all some horrible nightmare. That my life isn’t in ruins around me. I turn and look her dead in the eyes.

 _“Dan cheated on me. He brought a girl home from the bar and I heard them,”_ I answer in a voice that’s barely above a whisper. Louise’s eyes turn in to saucers. Shock is displayed clearly across her face. Her mouth falls opens slightly

 

Time seems to stand still. It feels as though we sat staring at each other for an hour. It was actually just a moment until I turned away and buried my head in my hands. I feel the hot tears spill onto my hands. I’m not making an effort to stop them now. 

 

Louise slides down the couch until she’s next to me. I feel her wrap her arms around me. I turn and hide my face in her shoulder. I feel her stroke my back and whisper soothing things in my ear. We stay that way for about ten minutes while she lets me cry everything out.

 

 **“How did this happen?”** She pulls back just enough for us to talk.

 _“I don’t know. I know we haven’t been doing the greatest lately, but I never thought he would do something like this. I thought we would have a fight or something. How could he do this to me?”_ I have resumed crying by the end.

 **“It’s okay,”** Louise says as she pulls me closer. She resumes rubbing my back while I cry into her shoulder.

 

 **“What are you going to do now?”** She asks a few minutes later.

 _“I-I don’t know,”_ I say between sobs. I feel Louise nod her head.

 **“It’s okay. Shh. It’s okay. You don’t need a plan just yet. You just take your time,”** She responds in a very soothing voice. I nod against her.

 

Louise pulls back and puts one had on each of my shoulders. I lift my head up to look at her. I notice that she has been crying a bit.

 

 _“You don’t need to cry Lou,”_ I sheepishly state. I rub my eyes, trying to dry them.

 **“I just don’t like seeing you like this.”** She replies with a slight smile. We sit in silence for a moment until Louise breaks it.

 **“Right then. First thing you’re going to do is take a relaxing bath. Then you’re going to bed. Tomorrow, we will talk more and come up with a plan. You’ve been through a lot today and you look like it,”** she gives a little chuckle. I smile weakly back at her. I know she’s using her ‘mom’ voice. Usually I would call her out on it, but tonight I’m too drained to do so.

 

I stand and slowly shuffle towards the door. Before I can get out of the lounge, Louise speaks up.

 **“Does Dan know where you are?”** I turn slightly to look at her. I slowly shake my head in response. She nods in an understanding way.

**“He texted me right before you showed up. I haven’t responded yet. I’ll tell him that I’ve heard from you and that you’re safe.”**

_“Thanks,”_ I respond softly, _“for everything.”_ She smiles in response. I see tears forming in her eyes. I turn away and quickly head towards the bathroom before she makes me cry again.

 

I walk into the guest room to grab my pajamas. I don’t have the energy to take a bath, but I settle for a shower. Afterwards, I shuffle slowly into the guest room and crawl between the sheets. I grab my phone and turn it back on. I turned it off when I got off on the train.

 

I’ve got a lot of miss calls and messages from Dan. I can see him getting more desperate the longer I go without responding. I don’t care. Let him stew and worry. I’ve also notice a few messages from a few of our friends. I figure that Dan called them looking for me.

 

I had called my parents after I talked to Louise. They know where I am, but I made them promise not to tell Dan. I just a few days to hide and figure a few things out. I quickly send messages to our friends letting them know I am alive. A few respond right away asking what’s going on. Some even ask where I am. I don’t respond. They can wait until tomorrow.

 

I place my phone on the side table and try to get comfy. I have been laying there for a few minutes when the dark room is suddenly illuminated. My phone starts to quietly ring. I groan to myself. I pick it up and see Dan’s picture flashing upon the screen. My finger hovers over the answer button. I sigh and hit ignore. Shutting off my phone again, I lay back against the pillows. I close my eyes and will sleep to come.


End file.
